If you’ve been deep in wedding planning, you already know the ceremony can end up as an afterthought. So much energy goes into the reception, the flowers, the food, that the actual “I do” moment sometimes gets planned last. But on the latest episode of Shoot the Vows, Caitlyn and Kalee sat down with Dre of Profound Ceremonies, a wedding officiant and planner who moved to Syracuse from Las Vegas, and she made a strong case for why the ceremony deserves just as much thought as everything else.
The Ceremony Is the Heart of the Day
As Dre put it, the ceremony is why everyone actually showed up. It’s the part people hire videographers just to capture, and it’s where guests want to be most present. But making a ceremony feel personal takes more than picking a template and filling in names.
Dre walks every couple through a detailed questionnaire before writing a single word. She wants to know their love story, their wedding day vibe, even what they wear on a regular date night. Is it playful and upbeat, or quiet and sentimental? That groundwork is what turns a generic script into something that actually sounds like the couple standing at the altar.
Private Vows, Elopements, and Doing What Feels Right
One theme that came up again and again: there’s no single “correct” way to get married anymore. Some couples want their vows said in front of everyone. Others want that moment kept private, just between the two of them, with the public ceremony reserved for the ring exchange and the kiss.
Dre shared that her personal favorite is the elopement, just two people choosing each other without an audience. Caitlyn, on the other hand, admitted she’s the total opposite and would have invited a few thousand people if budget allowed. Neither approach is wrong. The point Dre kept coming back to is that couples should choose what feels true to them, not what they think they’re supposed to do.
Where to Actually Spend Your Budget
Wedding budgets are always a hot topic on the show, and Dre offered a helpful way to think about it: money itself doesn’t have value, what you get in return for it does. If a smooth, stress-free wedding day is what matters most to you, that’s worth paying for, even if you can’t put an exact number on it.
She also encouraged couples to think in terms of “good, better, best” when vetting vendors instead of assuming the most expensive or most-followed option is automatically the right fit. A backyard wedding doesn’t need a twelve-person coordination team. It just needs someone in your corner who knows what they’re doing.
The One Piece of Advice She’d Give Every Couple
Dre’s biggest takeaway: don’t just check the boxes. Every couple’s dynamic is different, and a ceremony that’s copy-pasted from someone else’s wedding will always feel a little hollow. Slow down, get intentional about what your day actually means to you, and build from there.
Want to hear the full conversation, including her take on wedding planning stress and why clear communication with your vendors matters so much? Give the episode a listen.
